Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Ten Items or Less




One of my least favorite things to do is visit my local Walmart.  I used to go later at night, around 9 or 10 o’clock, to beat the crowds, but what I then found was that with fewer shoppers, there are fewer cashiers.  Which brings me to the crux of this blog post: theoretically, the lane clearly marked as “10 items or less” or, in the case of Walmart, additionally, “20 items or less,” would lead most shoppers to believe that going through this lane would put them in the company of like-minded shoppers that had escaped the Walmart maelstrom with less than 10 items (a feat within itself).  However, apparently the idea of having 10 items or less is a very fluid idea for some; I think that having multiples of ten is enough for them to think, “It’ll be okay, people won’t mind.”
Except that I do mind.  As much as I don’t want to, when I see someone that I can visually tell has more than ten items, I mentally count every blip of the register to see how badly that shopper has transgressed the ten item limit.  I want to not care, I want to just unconditionally love this egregious shopper.  I guess I do—but I want them to recognize that they have been a jerk to those of us with two things.  So here is my solution:  Instead of 10 items or less, make it 2lbs or less!  There could be a little pre-staging area that you would lay your things down on a conveyor belt; 2 lbs or less gets shuffled off to the express lane, more to the regular lanes!  So basically you have to follow your stuff on a giant conveyor belt.


Note: Not actual conveyor belt at Walmart.  Lines are much longer than they appear.
Or, since Wal-mart offers so many different services, how about flash-tattooing people who go through the line with too many items?  Kind of like a scarlet A. 


Note: not actual tattoo suggested
Then people everywhere would know if they were dealing with a ten item or less transgressor.  Okay, harsh.  And as much as I would like to punish people that have too many things in the ten-item or less, I can’t help but think about how I am constantly taking too many things in God’s ten-item or less…not really, but I keep sinning and most of the time doing the things that I wrestle with the most. Pride. Control. Disobedience.  I am a repeat offender in each of those sins.  So, even if I am behind a non-English speaking couple with four orders of ten items each and they are trying to use foreign currency, I smile, sing the Patience song, and am so thankful that God forgives me every time I am prideful, a control freak, and disobedient. 
Note:  Not actual couple encountered in Walmart.