Friday, November 11, 2011

The Christian Man List

It's tough to be single.  If you are seeking marriage, you can't really seek marriage, you have to seek out friends that could be marriageable.  Also, I'm not familiar with the idea that guys take a look at you and think, "wow, that is marriageable material!" I wrote the following in response to a blog post by the very wonderful and erudite Jon Acuff, whose blog at www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike is a daily source of entertainment for me. 

Having been single, married, and now divorced (but I pray for love for my ex on a regular basis), I feel like I am well-qualified to write on this topic.  And for all those SCL guideline-loving people, this can be titled THE CHRISTIAN MAN LIST.
Of course, this is written from the perspective of a woman desiring to marry.  So all those haters out there who instantly want to attack this like white on rice, it’s okay, it’s not talking about you.  Unless it is.
THE CHRISTIAN MAN LIST ( to determine how marriageable you are, and definitely not an exhaustive list)
Attends a traditional church +1
Owns a house or living space +5
Attends a small group  +2
Wears a denim jacket +3
Attends a small group where he is outnumbered by women 4:1  -4
Attends a cool contemporary church +1
Wears metrosexual V-necks on a regular basis (doesn’t really tell you too much, but is fun to put in here given the audience)
Holds a job +2
Holds a job that would support a household without a second income +5
Lives at home with Mom -2
Lives at home with Mom because she is an invalid and he cares for her 24/7  +10
Entire casual wardrobe is Dockers and polos +1
Owns his own chainsaw +3
Has used chainsaw more than once +5
Can fix most household appliances +20
Can afford to pay someone to fix most household appliances +10
Does a one-hand praise and worship move +3
Involved in a ministry in which he physically has to work  +5
Uses the “phone ministry” to pick up women -10
Can fix most household appliances +20
Tries to help the homeless guy near your church +4
Likes BBQ +1
Likes to be the grill master +3 (just because it’s cute)
Has his own fantasy football league -10
Texts you in the morning about his quiet time and asks about yours +15
Can often be seen counseling beautiful women, holding her hand as they pray -8
 There you go.  It is what it is.  Did I leave anything out?