Wednesday, April 18, 2012

My Driving Problem

I live in Jacksonville, FL, the largest city in the continental United States.  It is roughly 840 square miles wide.  It just seems much bigger when you drive it.   For example, for me to drive to work each day is 22 miles.  I take a suburban route because I don't like highway traffic.  However, I have a commute nemesis that I secretly dislike.

It's Dunkin Donuts.

I don't have an actual problem with the donuts themselves, although I do think they have a funky aftertaste and I prefer Krispy Kreme a whole bunch more.  It's more the people that go there.  And not actually the people, just their entitled sense of right of way to get in and out of the Dunkin Donuts parking lot.

Whenever traffic is moving and there is no cause to stop, it befuddles and maddens me to see perfectly good cars stop perfectly good motion to let people cross traffic to get to Dunkin Donuts.  Huh??? Is the need for baked goods so overwhelming and such a universal desire that there is psychic communication between drivers to stop the flow of traffic?  I apparently am not as spiritual as I thought, because I do not get that vibe in the vicinity of Dunkin Donuts.

And then there's the people who, once in possession of the Promised Land manna (aka donuts), have to zip out of the parking lot to deliver their little piece of heaven to whoever.  It's as if they think they are transporting organs for transplant. Edging their sedans and their SUVs out into traffic, as if suggesting that if I were really a nice person I would let them in. After all, they have VIDs (very important donuts) to deliver.

I happen to have a Christian-type decal on my car, so I have to show the love of Christ and let people in. Arrggh.  I don't do it with a happy heart.

So, if you happen to be driving in Jacksonville, which is highly conceivable for all 9 of my followers, go ahead, stop at Dunkin Donuts.  I will be at Krispy Kreme, having made a right turn into the parking lot without inconveniencing any other drivers.