Skip to main content

I Was the Other Woman. Kind of.


Without sounding too Hester Prynne, I was the other woman. Kind of.

My friend Kenn (whose name has been changed to protect the innocent) has been playing his bagpipes (name of instrument changed to protect a beautiful instrument) and singing at several local live music venues. Because I am an awesome friend, I have been promising to come see him for about a year.  And had yet to go.  So when I had a free evening and I knew he was playing, I ambled my way over to this restaurant and proceeded to order some black bean flautas. Yum!

At the break between sets, he walked over to a table with two women and talked to them and then made his way over to my table .  Kenn invited me to join these other ladies, who were also there in support of him.  I am always up for making new friends, so me and my flautas picked up and moved.
Yummy flautas.  
 Kenn introduced me to his girlfriend Berry and her mom. (Note: previously, I had learned that although a nice person , Berry could become territorial and not-so-nice if I was perceived as a threat to her girlfriend status.)  during the course of our conversation, her sardonic jabs and indifferent  conversation made me slowly realize one thing: I AM THE OTHER WOMAN.

Because I have never been the other woman, I was a little uncertain on how to handle it all. Should I flaunt what she thinks is true ( I am a threat to her relationship) or take the 10-foot pole approach, dropping subtle hints to indicate that I have absolutely no romantic interest in her boyfriend? Because I normally take the high road (curses, my do-gooder-ness) I took several opportunities to say that we only knew each other as a friend of my then-boyfriend, how we did not have any communication between 1991 and 2011, and that I had recently broken off a relationship and was thus a current member of the she-woman manhaters club.

This seemed to retract her claws and I felt safe-ish. Fortunately, my young son texted me and needed some motherly assistance in the form of cash, so I had an excuse to draw short this otherwise "fun" evening. I made my way out and "phew"-ed under my breath.  

I am certain that Berry is super sweet and to be perfectly honest, she is extremely accomplished in several professional areas.  I have no idea why she would be threatened by a 40's ish mom in her fifth career and writing a blog read by roughly 20 people.  But I guess it's because I had the potential to become.... the other woman. (If, by some weird freak occurrence of nature that "Berry" happens to read this, I'm also not Kenn's type.  He seems to prefer leggy blondes.)

Popular posts from this blog

I'm Sure Stranger Things Have Happened - Dating Advice for the Definitely Not Dead

If you have been a follower of the Flying Pants for a length of time, then you know I am not exactly  a supporter of online dating.  I just have personally had a pretty terrible experience.  But last year, about this time, after posting a blog entitled 10 Ways to Know Your Online Date is a Scam, I had a hailstorm of people writing and telling me that their brother's friend's mailman knew someone that had found LOVE on the internet.

So, as a response to this hailstorm, I set out to prove how hard it is to meet someone online with the Online Dating Diary posts (see a featured post to the right of this column).  I spent a month genuinely trying to contact men to make a dating connection and reported it back to you, the Flying Pants reader.

Those posts absolutely wrote themselves because I met so many weird/"interesting" men.  I still hear about Mr. Talks A Lot and the blind guy that liked to go to strip clubs.  In fact, I still hear about those posts and get requests to…

So Good News and Bad News.

Gentle reader, welcome to the 2017 Online Dating Diary.

This almost didn't happen.  I was seriously considering letting  Date Guy make me a one-man woman (see last post)  and that went down horrifically in flames because I am, quote, "a terrible person who doesn't regard other people's feelings."  (I probably should not have used quotes because that is not the actual verbiage.  But you get the idea.) We would have been going in two different directions on a very important topic and so after a fiery text message exchange, Date Guy is out of the picture.

So let me bring you up to speed.

I am already talking to Gorgeous, who is just that, and has a cute accent.  I am a little amazed that we are matched because he is just that gorgeous.  I have yet to do a Google image search on him because we talk frequently.  Another consideration is Ladies Love Country Boys, who is a business owner who has a veritable redneck paradise on the Westside -- he lives on a few acres a…

What A Girl (and a Guy) Wants - Dating Advice for the Definitely Not Dead #7

Thanks, Christina.  It's easy to say what a girl wants, but then how do you find what you're looking for, whether you're a man or a woman?  They say that there's an app for everything -- wouldn't it be great to have an app where you can make your perfect person?  Go through all your options and pick out what you like and have your person delivered to you in 30 minutes or less?

Alas, dating readers, it's a inevitable truth that finding your person is nothing like that.  In fact, it's more like you pick a few things and then you have to check an option called "Surprise Me" that delivers some hidden personality quirks or baggage later on in the relationship.

But thankfully we can arrive at a consensus of physical and personality traits that are generally considered desirable.  And thanks to roughly 138 of my single friends, we can get a general idea of what a girl (or a guy) wants.

The question I posed was, "What are the top three things you …