I once had a four-in-one screwdriver. It felt good to know I was covered in life's circumstances, as long as I only needed a small or medium flathead or Phillips screwdriver. This is a four-in-one blog. I tried to separate them, but the ideas were as entwined together as headphones that have been in my purse for a week.
I have often found myself eating to medicate my emotions, as I'm sure a number of people can relate to. I would have the thought in the midst of the gorging, "Why do I do this? What makes me do this?" The first thought I had was, I am eating because I don't know when I will eat next, which makes me sound like I live in a third world country. What I discovered, through some soul-searching, was that food was the only thing I could control and by golly, I'm going to have a lot of it and that is my substitute for control. I am going to be confident by consumption.
That's why the word consume in our verse this week really caused me to stop and think. Because of God's great love, we are NOT consumed.
His compassions are new and never give out. God is always faithful and He is my portion, meaning to me that He is enough.
I don't have to be consumed by my need to be in control. I don't have to branch out in the only way I can find to feel good. We are not consumed -- when we trust God. When I do it my own way, I eat myself up to 100 lbs over my goal weight. That's a whole bunch of needing to feel like I am in control! And it didn't even work, past the ten minutes I was stuffing my face.
God has shown me through this study that He is enough. I am made for more.
I don't want to be like the people in the Bible who "made their stomachs their god." I want to make my God the satisfier of my soul. I've recognized that a desire to eat is not necessarily a need to eat, but may be a craving for the Heavenly Father that knows and loves me so wholeheartedly, fully, and completely that He made me to crave him.
Who is my God? The Faithful One who waits for me every morning with water for my thirst and food for my soul. What do I want most? A relationship with someone who understands me, has my best interests at heart, is always right, and IS trust. Renee Swope shared this verse in the Proverbs31.org Encouragement for Today devotional:
"'For your Maker is
your husband — the LORD Almighty is his name — the Holy One of Israel is your
Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth. The LORD will call you back as
if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit — a wife who married
young, only to be rejected,' says your God." Isaiah 54:5-6 (NIV)
I am so thankful for this study and the great friends I've made in my small group. I am closer to God than I ever have been and rely on Him more fully than ever before. It has truly been #beneficial.