Gentle reader, welcome to the 2017 Online Dating Diary.
This almost didn't happen. I was seriously considering letting Date Guy make me a one-man woman (see last post) and that went down horrifically in flames because I am, quote, "a terrible person who doesn't regard other people's feelings." (I probably should not have used quotes because that is not the actual verbiage. But you get the idea.) We would have been going in two different directions on a very important topic and so after a fiery text message exchange, Date Guy is out of the picture.
So let me bring you up to speed.
I am already talking to Gorgeous, who is just that, and has a cute accent. I am a little amazed that we are matched because he is just that gorgeous. I have yet to do a Google image search on him because we talk frequently. Another consideration is Ladies Love Country Boys, who is a business owner who has a veritable redneck paradise on the Westside -- he lives on a few acres and raises hogs for a hobby. Also has a stable of cool toys like four-wheelers and big trucks.
Also gone from the picture recently is Green Beret, an actual Green Beret with a Bronze Heart and a passel of other cool awards who was super nice. We seemed to enjoy talking to each other and even set a date, but he cancelled on the day of and I have yet to hear from him since. So one of us dodged a bullet--recently. LOL
So Gorgeous is still in the picture. He had to go to Dubai (or so he says) for a business thing. I'm trying hard to hang on to the fantasy that he is a real person, but like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of our lives. I mean, I know I am not a person acquainted with global business and travel, but that just seems to be a little too made up. But then again he keeps sending me pics and it appears to be the same person,
Interesting update: So I do a google picture search and his pics that he has sent me don't come up as being from somewhere else on the internet, but he is a dead ringer for a Lebanese celebrity. Since the likelihood of a Lebanese celebrity and philanthropist picking me out of a thousand women to contact on a dating website is slim to none, I'm going with this is a fake. If I could get an email from him then I could check his email header and get the IP address and establish his location (which I am going to say IS NOT Dubai), but that hasn't happened yet.
Then there are the two men with the same name but different locations, so one will be known as Cleveland and the other, Orlando. Orlando is pretty convinced I could be the answer to his problems, that I could complete him, but he is in between contracts and has some loan shark issues. TOO MUCH INFORMATION for a 20-minute messaging blitz. But he seems sweet, so he stays. Cleveland is an architect from a Caribbean island-country and is a little hard to understand. But again, nothing too weird yet and he seems nice enough. Update: Have not heard from Cleveland again, but not a huge loss considering I don't even own a real coat and definitely don't want to live in a cold place.
A self-professed Prince (that's his screen name) has a pic with a dog in sunglasses. What's not cute about that? Originally from Texas, he is now on a peace-keeping mission in Afghanistan. Uh huh. Like I haven't heard this one before. I'm so so so so sorry if I sound jaded, but I am. I've seen almost all of the scams that occur online; "Deployed and Destitute" is a popular scam: one of our country's finest is fighting overseas and he either: 1) had his wallet stolen and can't buy any necessities, OR 2) has a relative back home that really just needs a little help OR 3) would I mind to pay his housekeeper for the very last time she cleaned, after he left...or one of a bunch of other stories. With all the scams out there, I feel very fortunate this time around to have at least met Date Guy, even if he did not work out.
Mr. Newark had a cute profile pic, great smile. We started messaging and he immediately wanted to email (going off site quickly is a classic scammer move, btw). So I give him my online dating email and sure enough, he sends me almost instantly a lengthy email all about his hopes, desires, wants, and dreams as well as a pic of his 12 year old son. As I read through the email, red flags were going off left and right. Colloquialisms and spellings that are distinctly British, not New Joisey. The part that sealed the deal was his description of how he is an international petroleum broker and traveled the globe frequently. I just can't even because of how amateur this scammer is. Here's a little excerpt:
".I dealing on crude Oils and building of oil platform..My work is so demanding and have made me traveled all over the USA, Saudi Arabia, Japan, the UK,China, Germany, and most frequently to United Kingdom..."
So I just responded with, "You're not even a good scammer. Take some lessons." And needless to say, I have not heard back from him.
Update: Put on your surprise face. Gorgeous' son had a birthday this last week and would I please send the son a Walmart Gift card.
I tell Gorgeous that I don't mix money and online dating. Then there is only. The sound. Of crickets......
Until the next day when he berated me for not being willing to help him to which I responded why didn't you plan ahead? And why are you putting so much pressure on me? OHHHHH
Orlando is absolutely the sweetest talker Betty Crocker that I have ever met and not in a skeezy way. Like sweet for real. He seems to really want to talk to me and he's a believer and everything. (Or so it seems.) But he seems really anxious to nail down that we are a thing. And that is definitely not on my agenda for the online dating diary.
This brings us to the bad news. But before that, I have to tell you that I have had to get on four different dating sites to find some really random people that will be funny for the blog. So apparently there is a glut of sincere men on dating sites now. Who'da thunk?
I am starting to see that I am conflicted with this diary because I'm meeting men that genuinely want to have relationships. I cannot in good conscience basically lie to them, which I feel like I am doing. The conflict is that, completely independent of any dating website, I have developed a friendship over the last several weeks with a godly, gentlemanly, really cute guy (also not on facebook) who I'm hoping is going to want to see if we can be more than friends. So far, so good, but I cannot in good faith do this diary when my heart is just not in it.
So you may be like Date Guy and think I am a terrible person who doesn't care about people's feelings, but this is just not for me at this time. So here's an idea... Do this yourself! Write your own dating diary and you'll either have fun living it or maybe meet some amazing sincere person who wants a relationship.
Live the adventure, dream the dream. Get out there and date -- I've got your back.