#7
So this has been a good week. I am not in the pit of despair, nor am I my alter-ego superhero, Super Crying Chick.
I started a part-time job. I have a great "day job" that is very generous in its benefits; however, I see that one day I will want to replace my car, I'll want to have nice weddings for my children, etc. One great thing about this part-time job is that I get to do the things I am best at -- greeting and welcoming people, talking to people, and shopping. I love my full-time job, as I said, but the things I do I learned to be good at and I do not use my natural skills and talents. But I am very thankful for it and I appreciate the work I get to do to serve churches and our staff.
But doing the things I am good at has made me feel better than I have felt in a super long time. It's like, Wow, what are these feelings I am having?? I like this.
I have a dear friend who lost his mother this week. I wish I could be there to support him, but he's, like, on the other end of the country. But I remember those first days, trying to get the service together, writing a eulogy, rewriting it at midnight the night before the service, and keeping all my feelings at bay so I could give the eulogy and talk about my mom to a gathering of her friends for what may have been the last time.
Then when everyone left and I sent the girls home to take a break from death, how I crashed and vertigo took over for a few days. Then I learned over the next few weeks that talking about my feelings would save me from vertigo.
But I'm just trying to be the best friend I know how to be and I see now how the intensity of my own grief helps me have the ability to love people more. And that's worth it all.
I started a part-time job. I have a great "day job" that is very generous in its benefits; however, I see that one day I will want to replace my car, I'll want to have nice weddings for my children, etc. One great thing about this part-time job is that I get to do the things I am best at -- greeting and welcoming people, talking to people, and shopping. I love my full-time job, as I said, but the things I do I learned to be good at and I do not use my natural skills and talents. But I am very thankful for it and I appreciate the work I get to do to serve churches and our staff.
But doing the things I am good at has made me feel better than I have felt in a super long time. It's like, Wow, what are these feelings I am having?? I like this.
I have a dear friend who lost his mother this week. I wish I could be there to support him, but he's, like, on the other end of the country. But I remember those first days, trying to get the service together, writing a eulogy, rewriting it at midnight the night before the service, and keeping all my feelings at bay so I could give the eulogy and talk about my mom to a gathering of her friends for what may have been the last time.
Then when everyone left and I sent the girls home to take a break from death, how I crashed and vertigo took over for a few days. Then I learned over the next few weeks that talking about my feelings would save me from vertigo.
But I'm just trying to be the best friend I know how to be and I see now how the intensity of my own grief helps me have the ability to love people more. And that's worth it all.
